The Power of Forgetting Read online

  ‘I like to play occasionally, but I’m more a Puzzle person.’

  ‘What kind of puzzles?’

  ‘Any sort of puzzles. As long as they are not the same ones I’ve done before.’

  ‘A variety?’

  ‘A choice.’

  ‘Ah!’ It couldn’t be more relevant than that. He was certainly not giving anything way about himself on any deeper level. And he was gathering a lot of information about us.

  ‘Why are you here?’ I asked him.

  He was smart enough not to try to fob me off: ‘I want to spend time with Karis. She is one unusual person.’

  ‘Do you like art?’ I asked him. I hoped to illicit something that was relevant to the world as I knew it.

  ‘Only when I can understand it.’ He said.

  ‘I see…’ I thought I was beginning to realise where he was coming from.

  ‘What else do you want to know?’ he asked me. He was drinking a cup of coffee. I not seen him touch any alcoholic stuff this evening so far.

  ‘You are asking me to pry?’

  ‘Just assuage your curiosity.’ He replied.

  ‘As you wish.’ I said, ‘I just would really like to know who my sister is dating.’ I wasn’t at all what I had intended to say. But he seemed more interested than irritated.

  ‘Observant….and direct. I’ll tell you what you want to know.’ He sipped more coffee.

  ‘You’re a policeman.’ I said suddenly.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And you’re dating my sister. Why?’

  ‘Because she asked me to.’

  ‘She did?’ I must have looked flustered, because my mother leaned over and tapped me on the wrist. ‘Calm down Jared.’ she said in a level voice. She had used this often when I was still a child. She could see something I couldn’t. I leaned back and searched round in my casual jacket for my lighter. I wouldn’t normally smoke in my parents’ house; but his seemed the time to let it out in the open. Sam caught my eye. I was having trouble with the lighter. He passed me his. I lit the black stick with trembling hands. I looked back up. I saw Morel watching me.

  ‘You know,’ I said in a growly voice, ‘you are a considerable nuisance.’

  ‘That’s what I do.’ He replied, ‘It’s hard to switch off from the job.’

  ‘I think I will have to hear more about this job of yours.’

  ‘I solve crimes. Detective class, plain clothes division. I’m very good at it.’

  ‘You can tell me who nearly crashed my car last summer then.’ I laughed sort of bitterly and took another swig of the rum and black.

  ‘If you like.’ he said, ‘I would need to see the case files though.’

  I looked into his eyes. He wasn’t joking. I felt deflated and just smoked and stared into space for a while.

  Everyone drifted into the lounge eventually. The light was beginning to fade from the sky. Mother was looking at me; she came across to me.

  ‘Hello Laura.’ I said.

  ‘Don’t be facetious.’ She replied.

  ‘I’m not.’

  ‘Jared…. just take it easy. Please.’

  ‘I’m fine.’ I said shortly. I was starting to wish Davey was here. And Jules. Adam was fast becoming one of the people I could be normal with. They didn’t leave sentences hanging in the air. They just accepted each other, and me.

  I decided I’d had enough of being sociable and got up and left the room without saying anything. I stood behind the door just outside, listening.

  ‘Is he alright?’ I heard Karis say.

  ‘He’s fine,’ my mother was slightly dismissive… playing down what she felt as ever.

  ‘Will you please go up and find him then.’ said Karis.

  ‘No,’ said Leo, ‘Just let him alone. Don’t push it. No one push it.’

  They all went quiet. I felt really odd, and quickly left the space I was hiding in and scrambled up the stairs to my old room. I slammed the door and lay down on top of the bed. I rolled over onto my stomach. There were flowers in a small vase on the window sill. Purple and gold….my colours. I knew my mother had put them there for me. I felt comforted and small, and slid out of my clothes and under the quilt. I left the curtains wide and looked out at the wispy high clouds. Was this my dream? Did I wake in hospital? I was confused still. Did we break that reality or not? I rolled onto my side and curled round tighter and tighter, shutting out the world. Closing down. I thought of the bright sea and the silver flowers. I thought of all the different metallic paints and in my mind trying to match their delicacy. It was so impossible.

  *****

  Three

  I walked that path again; from our house to the nearby village. It was three miles through the fields. I was ahead of the others. Marcia was walking with Janey; Davey seemed to be getting on fine nattering away to Sam. My parents and Karis plus new man were trailing slowly behind. I wasn't any mood for admiring scenery, and wished that this strange appointment would not take long. The pub. We were going to the pub. Apart from good Yorkshire beer and really first class meals I couldn't see why we were going there.

  We came to road between stone walls. We all had to go single file. As we got to the cross roads we had spread out so much that I had to stop and wait. I looked to the left. In the distance was the bridge where the road narrowed. There were walls on either side. I looked away. Don't think; don't remember. Don't follow that train of thought. I dug my hands deep into my jacket. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment. A shimmering of the landscape followed the realisation that I wasn’t that far from the spot where I had crashed. Oh God! No… not that. I opened my eyes. Marcia and Janey had caught up with me. Marcia slipped her arm round my waist on my right. Janey whispered ‘Is he for real?’ and slipped herself under my left arm. I knew she meant Morel. She looked up at me, this time serious and enquiring; with no trace of that teasing and girlishness she had shown back in London.

  ‘Don’t worry Angel.’ I said, and kissed her on the forehead, ‘I think Karis has it all under control.’

  ‘He’s right there.’ said Marcia softly in my ear, leaning into me so that her bubbling chocolate curls blinded me momentarily.

  ‘I think the weather might brighten later.’ said Morel, eyeing me up and down. Marcia and Janey both shifted closer to me. Perhaps they both thought I was still in danger of being difficult since last night. They had been having a long conversation just before they caught up with me.

  ‘You must be a very interesting guy,’ said Janey lightly, ‘I think Karis didn’t bring you down here to give us a forecast.’

  He smiled easily looking at me: ‘She said she came here to help her brother; I believe her; when she said there is very good reason.’ He glanced back to the others slowly making their way to us, ‘You are certainly all so protective of him. I do…. envy such devotion.’

  Marcia’s grip round my waist tightened, and Janey straightened and stood up on her toes. That reflexive movement that meant she might give someone an ear bashing. It was usually aimed at men who annoyed her. I kept hold of her so she didn’t have a go at him. But she just seemed lost for words as Karis and Sam caught up with us.

  ‘They’re so slow,’ said Sam, ‘I think there’s time to get a sneaky double in before they get here.’

  ‘Err… who?’ I said.

  ‘The love birds….’ Said Sam, grinning at me, ‘I must say you’re not doing too badly either.’

  We all turned to see my parents with arms round each other. I realised that we had all come together without the forced pressure of a birthday or something else. They looked so happy. I blinked and gasped. Janey looked up at me again. She knew what I was thinking. Karis was stood with her arms folded. She had that totally unreadable expression, that underneath covered a lot of confusion. I often felt like that myself. But today there was Morel, and there was a growing feeling that we would all soon know something new. He was hard to read as well. He stood in a neutral position, relaxed. But I noticed that he never let himsel
f be in a position of having his back to anyone. Good instincts I guessed.

  My parents joined our waiting group with Davey trailing behind. He was in thinking mode…. daydreaming again. He seemed oblivious to the strange tension between me and Morel.

  We followed Leo and Laura into The Plough Inn. It was just as I remembered it. Perhaps even as my parents had first seen it, back when they first knew each other.

  We all gathered round two oblong tables. Sam and Davey went to the bar. The girls disappeared into the Ladies. Laura came back with a small tray and four glasses.

  ‘Leo has the rest. I must say that Angela is still doing the lunch roast. We can get a table in the dining area in half an hour, if we want.’ She passed me a glass.

  ‘What is it?’ asked Morel, as Laura passed him something that was almost black in colour.

  ‘That’s Rum and black.’ said Davey, who had just come over with the snacks, ‘You’ve got them mixed up Mrs Arden.’

  Laura wrinkled her nose and sniffed in an irritated way; ‘Just One thing to remember Davey. Under no circumstances ever call me that again. It is actually wrong anyway.’

  ‘Oh?’ said Morel who was helping to rearrange the glasses to the right places. At that moment Karis, Janey, and Marcia all came back and squeezed themselves in between us. Karis and Janey were arguing in a gentle way about who should sit next to me.

  ‘Girls!’ said Laura, ‘Take turns.’

  To my guilty satisfaction Morel looked slightly put out. But his expression quickly smoothed out; ‘You are quite the most compelling person I have ever met in this matter.’ he said, as the noise level rose and every one was chatting amiably. Leo and Sam brought the rest of the drinks.

  ‘I can’t hear you.’ I said vacantly.

  Morel leaned over; ‘Oh, I think you can. But understand what I am doing. I am not here just because of my high conviction rate on criminal cases. And don’t get the idea that I cheat, in order to solve them. I am only doing this for Karis…and so far I don’t see anything to point to why she is so determined to let you all see this.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ I was cold in tone. Davey turned and was listening to our conversation. Marcia reached across me for her drink again. I stood and went over to the bar. Davey followed me and so did Morel. Leo looked up and caught my eye as if he knew everything that was happening. He put his arm back round Laura and tilted her chin up towards him. I watched fascinated. I had very rarely seen them be so openly affectionate with each other. But I sensed something in the air. Something wasn’t right. Something was here. Laura and Leo… they were, somehow disconnected. I couldn’t explain it better than that. The others seemed to be taking no notice, not even Karis.

  ‘You should pay attention to what is happening around you.’ said Morel, ‘there are three things that have occurred in the last few minutes which you seemed to miss completely.’

  I turned to him waiting for the punch line.

  ‘Yes,’ he continued, ‘you perhaps didn’t see what happened.’

  Davey looked annoyed, and opened his mouth to speak; but I held up a hand; ‘It ok Davey… trust me. It’s fine.’ I turned to Morel, ‘I see what you did. There were three things. The glass you swapped to the wrong person. The note into Marcia’s coat pocket, and the mat you put under Janey’s glass when she picked it up.’

  Morel seemed surprised. He indicated the barman pass him another blackcurrant and soda. He turned towards me, ‘Interesting. You are really quite the charming understated gentleman of mystery that Karis said you are.’

  ‘Karis is a good judge of most things.’ I said, ‘you believe her now?’

  ‘Yes…. I do.’ He drained the soft drink down in one, ‘Is there anything I can get you?’

  ‘Some dry roasted peanuts.’ I said, and a pint of Black Sheep.’

  Morel looked at Davey who nodded, ‘Sounds good.’ He said.

  He got us the drinks and we returned to the table, ‘you are quite the one, aren’t you.’ he said pointing at the pint. Davey watched him intently, and I felt puzzled. ‘What do you really do?’ I asked.

  ‘I have a useful ability. Like I said; I don’t use this…. skill for just anything. I am aware of the way it brings attention to me. I have found it useful for solving some crimes that were completely stuck. The ones we had reached a dead end with. It is tiring, and required a lot of concentration. Karis has helped me focus more, so that I don’t need as much energy to make it work. She said that I can find it better if I think of it as putting the fulcrum in the right place.’

  ‘You are a traveller?’ I asked him quietly.

  ‘Yes… in a manner of speaking. But I do not myself move through the causal plane. That I leave to others like yourself, who are not shit scared of one’s place in history being erased.’

  ‘That is not true you know.’ I said.

  ‘That may be so. But if I was you… but I’m not, I’d really try to get to grips with the limits of my own power.’

  I looked away. I didn’t know what Karis had told him about me, but I was curious to see what he could do.

  ‘Will you show me?’ I asked at last.

  ‘Yes, of course.’ He said, as if he had been waiting for me to ask this. He turned to Leo; who nodded at Morel. I realised this had been arranged for my benefit, and perhaps maybe Davey and Marcia’s as well. I took Marcia’s hand. I was nervous. Karis sat down next to Morel.

  ‘Do you need my help?’ she asked him.

  ‘Err…yes, please. I need all these other people excluded from the circle.’ He sounded rather nervous too. I realised that he had one shot to prove himself to me. He might be with Karis as a friend now, but perhaps it was more than that. I began to feel some admiration for this guy. Who was preparing to expose his secret to me and the others. I realised what he meant when he asked Karis to exclude the others. All the people in the bar who were just ordinary customers and weren’t part of our group.

  ‘Alright,’ he looked at me and loosened his tie, ‘I need us all to go to the space near the fire place. No one has been standing or moving through there for the last twenty minutes since we arrived.’

  ‘Can we take our drinks?’ I asked him

  ‘You could. But it might be better to not do so…. especially for you Jared.’

  We all complied, and stood waiting for him to do something.

  Morel seemed to be in some discomfort. Karis took his hand, ‘What amount do you need me to put in?’ she asked him.

  ‘Can you just be ready to catch the deceleration…. there is a lot going on in here. But this is the only safe way for it to not leave a trace.’

  ‘Everyone ready?’ asked Leo standing straight and tall. Laura was tucked under his left arm, and looked up at him smiling. She seemed so small and slight. Janey wrapped her arms round Davey, who looked surprised and a somewhat scared. Karis held Sam and Marcia’s Hands.

  ‘Will you let me?’ he asked, offering his hand to me palm upwards. I glanced at Leo who nodded.

  ‘Alright.’ I said.

  David Morel took my hand. I felt a really strange gut pulling tug. There was a moment of fuzziness, and then we were in the bar again just as before. I almost laughed… until I saw myself sat there across the room. I saw Morel walking from the bar and switch the glasses. He leaned over and slipped the note in Marcia’s pocket. A moment later he moved the mats as Janey’s glass was lifted. He had written something on the back and flipped it over while talking.

  I started across the room.

  ‘No! Jared! Don’t move.’ That was Karis. But I was already slipping between the tables. I glanced back at Morel who looked pale and seemed uncomfortably warm.

  ‘Stop!’ shouted Karis.

  There was an absolute silence. Karis came up to me and pulled me back slightly. ‘Little brother…. You are still impetuous. Learn from me and I will teach you everything I know.’

  ‘Is it safe to move now?’ asked Davey

  ‘Yes,’ said Leo, ‘there is a stop. It is s
table.’

  We all wandered round, looking at these living statues.

  ‘You create images of the past.’ I said to Morel.

  ‘Yes,’ he gasped, ‘they are not your real past selves. The paradox problem would be too great. They are just images.’

  We all walked around.

  ‘They are moving.’ exclaimed Davey, ‘but just very, very slowly.’

  ‘Yes.’ Karis turned to the group, ‘it is a simulacrum of a time freeze state. The images will be moving just as when you do this.’ She glanced at me, ‘but don’t touch them.’

  ‘Why not?’ I asked, ‘If they are just images.’

  ‘There is a connection with the real. You can break it if you have that connection. It is extraordinarily rare for this to happen. But people have been known to fall into a dream state.’

  ‘Oh…’ I was drawn to myself. That strange way of seeing; from the outside, the right way round. Not in the mirror, not in a photograph.

  ‘Curious.’ said Marcia, ‘It is as if they are alive. But it’s like a 3D photo too.

  ‘Karis….’ said Morel, ‘two more minutes, tops.’

  ‘Yes,’ she said, ‘then we will all resume our places.’

  I stared at my pint then. I reached out to the glass. I felt a strange kind of tug inside myself. The head of the image moved slightly. I reached out and touched the sleeve that was the image of me. It felt completely real.

  Suddenly it was moving. I saw myself looking at me in my memory, while simultaneously staring down into my own eyes as I looked upwards. My lips parted in surprise. I could not withdraw. Our… my, hands touched each other. I felt a curious sense of peace. Somewhere I heard shouting. It was distant. I was breaking apart then….